Tag: health

A Tribute to My Late Mom

I’m happy and honored that I had her as my mom.

She showed her love for her community by helping her neighbors with their social services paperwork, voting, sharing links to news articles, and contacting politicians.

She showed her love for me by saying, “Go do something fun,” at the end of our conversations. It made her sad how much I ruminated about stressful things, and she encouraged me to try to tap into the more refreshing side of life, which I’m still working on, thanks to her.

She showed her love for my dad by putting minutes on his phone for him every month, since he really struggled to figure out how to do it.

When we hung out, we spent most of our time together watching crime shows and playing Pokemon. We had so much fun! One of the last things I told her as she was dying, which she unfortunately couldn’t respond to because she was in a coma, was that I’d continue our criminology tradition by trying to get a volunteer job in the field, such as possibly visiting kids at the juvenile detention center.

Halloween was her favorite holiday. This is the day her spirit tells me that she wants me to do the most for her every year in her memory. Monster movies, such as the Frankenstein ones, were among her favorite kind.

Aside from criminology, her other favorite subjects to learn about included anthropology and linguistics. Sadly, she regretted not majoring in anthropology in college, but she did get to minor in linguistics. At least one, maybe a few of her classes were in anthropology. We shared both fascinations and frustrations with trying to understand people.

Security was one of her values that was most important to her. She was very mindful about things like going to her medical appointments and having two phones in case one of them was lost or stolen. It seems that her favorite aspect of security to learn and discuss was finance. She enjoyed going over her budget and scoping out sales and other ways to save money. Recently, she contributed a guest post involving safety in the kitchen.

Aside from Pokemon, she also enjoyed playing Sims a lot. She had a routine of playing every Sims game the same way, by having her sims run a nectar (their word for wine) business from their homes so that she could manage their needs more easily. In her Pokemon games, she liked more variety, and gave herself little challenges to entertain herself. One challenge that she’d sometimes do was to beat a Pokemon game with a team full of Pokemon of the same type, which was tricky, because there are 18 types, which have different strengths and weaknesses to each other.

Thank you, Mom, for being part of my life.

 

 

My Mom Died

My mom died today. The doctor called and said that there was nothing else they could do for her and that he thought it would be best for her to let her pass away, so I agreed. I don’t think that I have the strength to visit her one last time, but my dad and I visited her twice yesterday, and I hope that’ll be enough to have made a good transition for her to the other side. I’ll post a tribute on Sunday of all of the things that I loved about her with a link to the guest post she recently contributed. I wish that we could’ve had more time together. I hope that we’ll be together again after I pass away. I hope that there’s a peaceful afterlife. I admit that I’m skeptical, but I feel like I need to believe in order to keep my mind intact.

I’m Scared That My Mom Will Die

On Monday night, my mom was having severe leg pain and trouble breathing. I didn’t know at the time. She told my dad, and neither of them realized how much trouble she was in, so she didn’t get help until Tuesday morning, when her caregiver’s supervisor visited her and saw that she needed emergency help. My mom thought that she was having a panic attack.

Late Tuesday afternoon, she went into a medically induced coma to help her breathe. I’m sorry that no one knew sooner that she needed help. Maybe if she could’ve gotten help earlier, she’d be in more stable condition. The last things that we talked about while she was still conscious were a cat joke and a cooking video about things to add to refried beans. She loves to talk about food. I was trying to keep things fun for her.

On Wednesday, my dad and I visited her at the hospital. I was grateful to have him guide me, since I get lost easily. It hurt to see her helpless in bed, unconscious and paralyzed by the medicine they were giving her for her protection. My dad and I talked to her and touched her hand, which was very cold. We told her that we hope she makes it, but that if she wants to leave, that’s okay, since we didn’t want her to feel pressured.

Since Halloween is her favorite holiday, I did Halloween themed word search puzzles on my Switch, which she enjoyed trying out earlier, and told her about them, as well as the cheesy jokes that show each time I solve the puzzle. I told her that Halloween is next month and that I still have Pokemon to catch for her. Lol, maybe that will help keep her going.

I started writing letters to her on Wednesday. I’ll write one to her every day until she either wakes up, or passes away, to document how she’s doing and how I and the other people connected to her are coping. If she wakes up, I hope that she’ll find the letters meaningful. If she passes away, I might save them to look at once or a few times a year.

I got to talk to my therapist on the phone. She said that she’s there to support me. She wants to connect me to a peer counselor, and she encouraged me to try a group there again to build a support system.

My mom has been my blog’s biggest fan. She asks me for links to almost every post. She wrote a guest post for Psychology Plus last month, and we had planned on her contributing one per month after that, so that she could enjoy writing without what she felt was a hassle of trying to maintain a regular blog. I’d really enjoy seeing more of her writing and another side to her voice.

44 would be so soon to leave this world.